Motherhood and the North Star

As a new mom, I constantly looked for inspiration.

What to cook. What to wear. How to workout at home. How to get enough sleep. I started looking for anything that would motivate and encourage me to be the mom that I so wanted to be.

So often I felt that I came up short or that I didn’t know where my life was going other than changing diapers and cleaning up messes.

Being a wife and mom is all that I have ever wanted to be, so why was this life I had prayed so hard for not living up to the hype?

I was tired of feeling lost, and I was ready to work toward becoming a better version of myself.

And so Go Forth. Go North. was born.

The Symbolism of The North Star

The North Star is a well-known symbol throughout history and mythology; Nordic tradition taught that Polaris was the end of a spike around which the sky rotates, while Mongolian mythology taught that Polaris is a peg that holds the world together.

I’m no science expert by any stretch of the imagination, so I love the simplicity of NASA’s depiction of the North Star:

As our planet rotates through the night, the stars around the pole appear to rotate around the sky. Over the hours, these stars each sweep out a circle around the celestial pole. The farther a star is from the pole, the larger the circle it travels around the sky. Some stars travel a great distance over the course of the night.

Polaris is different. Because it’s so close to the celestial pole, it traces out a very small circle over 24 hours. So Polaris always stays in roughly the same place in the sky, and therefore it’s a reliable way to find the direction of north.
What is the North Star and How Do You Find It? | NASA

Because of the North Star’s near constant presence in the sky over the northern hemisphere, many people still turn to it as a source of inspiration.

For me, the North Star is a symbol for finding direction, hope, strength and purpose in my role as a wife and a mom.

Ultrasound image taken in October 2021 for my first daughter

Direction

The obvious symbolism of the North Star comes from its practical use in finding direction.

“When you find your North Star, you know where you’re headed.”
psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

When my daughter was born, I knew that my life was moving in a new direction. Never in my life had I put someone else’s needs so far ahead of my own until that point when I became a mom.

The way forward was uncharted territory for my husband and I, and I often felt like I didn’t know what I was doing.

Those newborn days were long and exhausting, but they were wonderful. I knew that my focus needed to be on Eleanor as we all learned and grew as a family. As Eleanor got older and more independent from me though, I began feeling like I was losing my direction and becoming stagnant.

I was still me. I still had goals and aspirations. I still had an opinion of how I wanted my life to go. I longed for a clear path forward showing me how to be a mom and still achieve my goals.

This path forward is different for everyone. Your direction doesn’t have to be the same as mine, or anyone else’s. I used to worry that there was only one right way to be a mom. Now I know that we are all just trying to find our way. We are all trying to find “our North Star.”

I don’t know the twists and turns my life will take in the future; my direction may change multiple times in the coming years.

But I know for certain that I do not want to be stagnant. I want to make goals. I want to challenge myself to become better. I want to keep moving forward.

Hope

The North Star is a beacon of hope for the lost and weary traveller.

It is a dependable guide upon rough seas and desolate desert.

Though I do not face rough seas every day, I do often deal with the torrents of toddler tantrums. Though I do not walk alone across the desert, I do sometimes feel alone.

I have had hard days since becoming a mom; I am sure that there are going to be more hard days to come.

But on those days when I feel like everything is falling apart and I am at my wit’s end, I try my best to look back at where I have been and where I will be in the future.

I remember the tough moments that I thought I would never make it through. Sleepless nights. Sick days. Nursing pain. Body changes. Unending crying (from both Eleanor and me).

And I remember the beautiful moments when being a mom feels magical. First steps. Tiny cuddles. Cheese-ball grins. Funny quirks. Belly laughs.

Those small moments are everything. They give me hope that everything will work out. I have hope in motherhood because I have made it through every hard thing in my life thus far; I have hope in motherhood because I don’t want to miss out on the magic in my future.

“Love is like the Polar Star. In a changing world, it’s always constant.”
Gordon B. Hinckley | The Church News

Strength

The North Star is a symbol for strength and perseverance.

To the unsuspecting star gazer, the light we see in the night sky is a given. We see the light given off by the star and assume that creating that light is an easy task.

But the light from the North Star actually travels 320 light years before that light is visible from Earth.

Just like the North Star creating light, motherhood is a long game. A long game requiring strength. Endurance. Perseverance.

It means functioning of not enough sleep. It means working long hours. It means picking up our kids when they need to be held 675 times a day. It means working day in and day out to create beautiful lives for our children.

And it sometimes means sacrificing our autonomy, our goals for now, to build the life we want for the future.

Being a mom has made me stronger than I could have ever thought possible.

There will be hard moments. But the hard moments make me who I am. They show me that I am not a subject to my experiences. They show me that I can make it through tough times because I am tough.

I am learning every day that my progress is not hindered by motherhood. My progress is strengthened by my experiences as a mom.

Purpose

The North Star is a symbol of purpose and focus in life.

Ancient navigators observed that all the stars in the sky seem to circle around the North Star, which was known to ancient Greeks as Kynosoura, meaning dog’s tail…. By the 17th century, the North Star was used figuratively for anything that was the focus of attention.

Due to this, the North Star also became associated with life’s purpose, heart’s true desires, and unchangeable ideals to follow in your life. Just like the literal North Star, it gives you direction in life. As we look within ourselves, we can discover and develop the gifts that we already have, letting us achieve our full potential.
What Are the Spiritual Meanings of the North Star?

One of my lifelong goals is to live my life on purpose. I don’t want my life to just happen to me. I don’t want motherhood to just happen to me.

I want to a catalyst for good in the lives of my family members. I want to be an example of service and kindness, of hard work and determination.

I want my children to leave the world a better place than they found it.

My purpose as a mom is to be a mom on purpose.

And thankfully, we can also find purpose and passion outside of motherhood. When the diapers and dishes end, who do you become? What will you learn? What will you do?

Love, Molly
Go Forth. Go North.

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