For When I Wish I Could Do More

Today was an abnormally productive and very-happy-Eleanor day. 

After Eleanor woke up at 7:45 (incredible), she ate a huge breakfast and decided to go play instead of begging to turn on a movie. 

I started folding our mountain of laundry, and when Eleanor got bored of playing alone, we turned on a movie. Eleanor was really sweet and wanted to cuddle while her movie was on. 

Once I finished the laundry (without Eleanor throwing any of the laundry in the ground), I was able to unload and load the dishwasher, and scrub down the kitchen, all while Eleanor watched her movie and played. 

We ate lunch and I was able to sneak in a workout before putting Eleanor down for her nap. 

After I showered and got ready, I headed to the grocery store while Brigham worked in his home office. Even though Eleanor didn’t actually sleep during nap time, she was so happy the rest of the afternoon. 

I decided to make muffins, and I was able to prep dinner while the muffins baked. I made a really yummy dinner, and then Eleanor decided to go play outside while I started writing this post.

This is not our “normal.”

Like I said, today was an abnormally good day. I’m really proud of how much I accomplished today, but my days don’t usually look like this. 

Usually, I manage to get a fraction of those things done. Often, I end the day with an unfinished to-do list and a wish that I had been more productive. 

Just last night, I had a good night time cry to Brigham about wishing I was able to do more. But being 5 months pregnant (and hooked on a new book series), my days tend to revolve around Eleanor needing a lot of attention, and me eventually loading the dishwasher so that our kitchen sink can actually function as a sink instead of a dirty dishes receptacle. I often end up desperately looking forward to nap time and bed time so that I can read my book and lay on my bed in peace. 

For When I Wish I Could Do More

On days like that, when I only knock off the bare minimum on my to-do list and I’m feeling overstimulated by raising a toddler, it is easy to look at days like today and feel like a failure. 

On days when I wish I could do more, here are the things I tell myself to combat my own self-doubt and criticism. 

1. My number one priority everyday is to make sure that Eleanor is taken care of. There will always be dishes to be done and laundry to be folded. But those things can almost always wait. Brigham reminds me frequently that as long as Eleanor feels loved and taken care of, that I have succeeded as a mom, even if that means putting off chores to cuddle and watch a movie with Eleanor.
2. Everyday is going to look different, and that is not a bad thing. I finished the laundry and grocery shopping today, which means I don’t have to do those things tomorrow. That extra time could be spent doing other chores; that extra time could also be spent taking a break.  Depending on the day, both of those things are good options. Not everyday has to be jam packed with chores to be a productive, good day. Taking a break is just as important.
3. My desire to be better and do more is not a horrible thing. It means I am not complacent and that I care deeply about taking care of my family. When I have days that could have been better, I can either let that feeling cripple me, or I can use it as motivation to make the next day a better day. 

Not everyday of motherhood is going to be perfect. Not everyday of motherhood will feel like a resounding win. And that is OK. That is normal.

You are doing great.

Love, Molly
Go Forth. Go North.

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