Gestational Diabetes: My Initial Thoughts

I got the results back yesterday from my 3-hour glucose test confirming that I have gestational diabetes. 

This means that I will need to follow a low carb diet and check my blood sugar levels 4 times a day for the next few weeks before my next appointment so that my doctor can evaluate a further treatment plan for the rest of my pregnancy. 

My thoughts from last night, you ask? When I was tired and emotions were running high? When my anxiety becomes its most vulnerable and volatile? 

Here comes the Molly-monologue/rant from last night: 

I am angry. Of COURSE I would have gestational diabetes. This pregnancy has been so much easier than last time, so there had to be SOMETHING. And of course I develop gestational diabetes after working out consistently both before I got pregnant and throughout my entire 2nd trimester. 

We picked up the glucose test kit tonight and I’m not even worried about having to draw blood 4 times a day. It will be annoying, but whatever. 

But I have already been eating pretty well, with a few yummy splurge-y foods to make eating healthier more enjoyable and less miserable. Like healthy ice cream. Like flavored Greek yogurt and chocolate protein granola. Like prebiotic sodas to take the edge off my occasional soda cravings. Like protein chocolate milk. And now we are saying that in order to combat gestational diabetes, I have to cut out foods with sweeteners, period. And carbs. And the occasional burger and fries. Awesome.

Oh, I’m very angry. 

And I’m scared that even if I do this low carb thing perfectly, that this baby is could still suffer the consequences of my body not being able to process the sugars I consume. 

I’m worried that when I inevitably have cravings for foods I shouldn’t eat, that I won’t be able to control my frustration and I will lash out at Brigham and Eleanor. 

I’m already so emotional being pregnant as it is. It’s already hard for me keep a leash on strong emotions, but limiting my food freedom is not something with which I have ever done well, pregnant or not.

And now, it is not just me that my food choices will directly affect. 

(from my notes app at roughly 10pm last night.)

I cried a lot last night after the doctor’s office called to confirm my glucose testing results and explained my initial treatment  plan. (And a lot more the night before when the results of my test were posted on my healthcare app and I started jumping to conclusions.)

Pregnancy is just a lot, and in the moment, I felt like everything was crashing down around me.

I’m feeling much better today. Though still a bit stressed, I am more at ease with the plan to deal with gestational diabetes.

I’m not excited to have to prick my fingers constantly to check my blood sugar. I’m not excited to essentially cut out ice cream and pasta and baking and candy for the next several weeks. I’m not particularly excited that I might have to spend even more time at the doctors office soon. 

But this is a learning process. It isn’t the end of the world. I’m strangely looking forward to learning more about my own health like I never have before. 

And I’m also strangely looking forward to sharing what I learn here on the blog. 

So strap yourselves in, everyone. This might get interesting. 

P.S. I need all the tips from women who have done this whole gestational diabetes thing before! Help me get through this without me losing my sanity 🙂 

Love, Molly
Go Forth. Go North.

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